Animals are the best. And they are also downright hilarious. My toddler starts laughing just by looking at the dog enter the room. Pigeons in the park? Also uncontrollable giggles. A mooriffic cow jokes? Udderly hilarious. A roofin’ dog quote, joke, and pun? Terrific. So why not tell the young animal lover in your life a few of these kid-friendly, clean jokes about animals? You know, for the inevitable day when the family pet simply stops making people laugh (though it will never happen).
Has your dog ever farted itself awake? Or maybe your cat attacks their shadow sometimes. Although they are cute, animals can be hilarious at times. (There’s a reason why cat videos are so popular.) Even in Disney films, like Sven the reindeer in Frozen and Heihei the chicken in Moana, animals steal the show with their antics! And Finding Nemo is just jam-packed with hilarious marine fun. Animals can make kids laugh, whether they are animated or in your backyard. Thus, if you’re a farmer or a person who owns a puppy, tell your pet these jokes in a whisper and see what they think.
Interesting Facts about Friendly Animal
1. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer.
2. How can your farm accommodate more pigs?
Build a sty-scraper.
3. What was the cow without milk called by the farmer?
An udder failure.
4. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
5. Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They are always stuffed.
6. Why do fish live in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
7. How does a dog stop a video?
He presses the paws button.
8. Why do cows go to New York?
To see the moosicals.
9. What is the term for giving money to a bison?
A buff-a-loan.
10. What is the snake’s favorite subject?
Hiss-story.
11. What is black, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt penguin.
12. Why does a dog wag its tail?
Because there’s no one else to wag it for him.
13. What is a cat’s favorite movie?
The sound of Mew-sic.
14. Why did the lamb cross the road?
To get to the baaaaarber shop.
15. What is the mouse’s post-shower mood?
Squeaky clean.
16. Where do you put barking dogs?
In a barking lot.
17. When a pig is arrested for reckless driving, what do you call it?
A road hog.
18. What is a cheetah’s favorite food?
Fast food.
19. When a wolf speaks badly, what do you call him?
A swearwolf.
20. What happened when the wolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
21. What does a duck with hiccups lay?
Scrambled eggs.
22. Why do ducks migrate southward to spend the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk.
23. When the bill arrived, what did the duck say to the waiter?
Put it on my bill, please.
24. Why don’t ducks grow up?
Because they only grow down.
25.What weighs nothing at all but is as large as an elephant?
Its shadow.
26. How does a dog stop a video?
He presses the paws button.
27. When a cow eats your grass, what do you call it?
A lawn moo-er.
28. What results from the union of a cement mixer and a duck?
A brick layer.
29. What’s the term for a cow that can play an instrument?
A moosician.
30. Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was having fun with several cheetahs.
31. Why did the duck cross the road?
To show the chicken how to do it.
32. What do ducks put in their soup?
Quackers.
33. What occurs when a sheep and a wolf cross paths?
You have to get a new sheep.
34. For what offence was the wolf in the butcher shop put under arrest?
Chop-lifting.
35. What made the duck go across the building site?
To see a person lay a brick.
36. Which side of a duck has more feathers?
The outside.
37. What does a frog eat with his hamburger?
French flies.
38. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
Because it was a chili dog.
39. How did the mommy duck break her back?
Her son stepped on a quack.
40. What do you call a sarcastic duck?
A wise quacker.
41. What happens when three ducks are placed inside a box?
A box of quackers.
42. What is a dog’s favorite city?
New Yorkie.
43. What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog.
44. What time does a wolf come across your dinner?
Time to get a new dinner.
45. What’s the term for a lost wolf?
A where-wolf.
46. Why did the duck cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
47. Where do tough ducks come from?
Hard-boiled eggs.
48. How do spiders communicate?
Through the World Wide Web.
49. Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food.
50. What made the Dalmatian visit the ophthalmologist?
He kept seeing spots.
51. What made the leopard decline to bathe?
It didn’t want to come out spotless.
52. How should one go about catching a squirrel?
Act like a nut.
53. In a spelling bee, what animal would come out on top?
The bee.
54. What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon.
55. When the server brought the dog her food, what did he say to her?
Bone appetit.
56. What do you call a great dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
58. Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
59. When the skunk entered the courtroom, what statement did the judge make?
Odor in the court.
61. Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other ssssssside!
62. Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
63. What’s the term for a cow that refuses to produce milk?
A milk dud.
64. What is a lion’s greeting to other field animals?
Pleased to eat you.
65. What took place after the comedian was eaten by the lion?
He felt funny.
66. What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
67. Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales.
68. When an egg is laid atop a barn, what do you get?
An eggroll.
69. Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
because the other side was home to a KFC.
70. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show everyone he wasn’t chicken.
71. The clown was spit out by the lion, but why?
Because he tasted funny.
72. Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
73. What animals are on legal documents?
Seals.
74. What results from the union of a pie and a snake?
A pie-thon.
75. When his son left on a trip, what words did the buffalo say to him??
Bison.
76. Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger?
He thought it was a lion.
77. How do bees get to school?
By school buzz.
78. What’s the best way to silence a squealing mouse?
Oil it.
79. Why did the turtle cross the street?
To get to the Shell station.
80. Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
81. What occurs when a frog experiences a car breakdown?
He gets toad away.
82. What is produced when a pig and a parrot are crossed?
A bird who hogs the conversation.
83. What message did one flea convey to its companion?
Shall we walk or take the dog?
84. Why aren’t elephants allowed on beaches?
They can’t keep their trunks up.
85. What has six eyes but cannot see?
Three blind mice.
86. How can you locate the location of a flea bite?
Start from scratch!
87. In a phone box, what would you call an elephant?
Stuck.
88. What happens when a balloon and a porcupine cross paths?
POP.
89. How does a hedgehog play leap-frog?
Very carefully.
90. What’s the name for a bear cub that is toothless?
A gummy bear.
91. How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
92. What is an alligator dressed in a vest called?
An investigator.
93. What do you call an angry monkey?
Furious George.
94. What is the term for a gorilla with earmuffs on?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
95. What is a cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple.
96. What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
97. What’s the term for a grizzly bear drenched in rain?
A drizzly bear.
98. What’s the simplest method for counting cows in a herd?
Use a cow-culator.
99. Why did the foal go to the doctor?
Because he was a little horse.
100. What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
It’s jelly-button.
101. What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats.
102. What do rabbits eat for breakfast?
IHOP.
103. What do cats have for breakfast?
Mice Crispies!
104. What do you call a dog magician?
A Labracadabrador!
105. What do you call an enigma-solving alligator?
An investgator!
106. Why are cats bad storytellers?
Because they only have one tale.
107. In the event that a tiger charges at you, what actions would you take?
Big ones!
108. A non-speaking pony made an appointment with a physician.
“I know what’s wrong,” said the doctor. “You’re a little horse!”
109. In the North Pole, what do you call a chicken?
Lost!
110. What kind of ties do pigs wear?
Pig sties!
111. What became of the dog that consumed only garlic?
His bark was much worse than his bite!
112. What distinguishes a piano from a fish?
You can’t tuna fish!
113. What’s a frog’s favorite soda?
Croak-a-Cola!
114. Why do cows like being told jokes?
Because they like being a-moosed!
115. What area of a chicken has the most melody?
The drumstick!
116. Is there any type of ant larger than an elephant?
A gi-ant!
117. What is produced when a cow and a chicken are crossed?
Roost beef!
118. Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
119. One of the ten cats in the boat leaped out. What was the remaining number?
None, because they were copycats!
120. What was Noah’s nighttime view of the animals inside the Ark?
With flood lighting.
121. What transpired on Main Street when 500 hares ran amok?
The police had to comb the area.
122. What is administered to a feverish dog?
Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
123. Why are cows hooved rather than footed?
Because they lactose.
124. A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shitzu.
125. Shaving a crazy sheep: what is it called?
Shear madness.
126. What do you call a pair of identical octopuses?
Itenticle.
127. After the cat lost its tail, where did it go?
To the retail store!
128. Where can you locate a canine without legs?
Where you left it.
129. Why is a bee’s hair always sticky?
Because it uses a honeycomb!
130. What creature is more life-filled than a cat?
Frogs, they croak every night!
131. Where do orcas hear music?
Orca-stras!
132. Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
133. What is the name for a fish that is blind?
Fsh!
134. What happens when a dog gnaws on a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth!
135. Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The baaaahamas.
136. What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A watchdog.
137. With a frog perched on her head, what do you call a girl?
Lilly.
138. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!
139. What noise is produced when a porcupine kisses?
Ouch!
140. Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the “barking” lot!
141. If you don’t have a fishing rod, how do you catch a fish?
With your BEAR hands.
142. What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
143. When is a lion not a lion?
When he turns into his cage!
144. What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound!
145. What do you call it when Alpacas sing?
Alpacapella.
146. What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala!
147. Why don’t cats like online shopping?
They prefer a cat-alogue.
148. What was the alpaca’s response to the grass blade?
Nice knawing you!
149. What transpired at the flea circus where the dog went?
He stole the show!
150. What did the cat on the smartphone say?
Can you hear meow?
151. What is produced when a telephone and a gold dog are combined?
A golden receiver!
152. Road trip?
Alpaca my bags.
153. What was the little Scottish dog’s reaction upon seeing the monster?
Terrier-fied!
154. Why did the dolphin cross the road?
To get to the other tide.
155. Where do dolphins sleep?
In a water bed.
156. Have you heard about the vet who made friends with foxes?
She was crazy like a fox.
157. When is it required of you to foxtrot?
When you’re doing the foxtrot.
158. How do electric eels taste?
Shocking.
159. Why do leopards not make good hide-and-seek players?
Because they’re always spotted.
160. Why do crabs never share?
Because they’re shellfish.
161. A hundred rabbits walking backwards is what?
A receding hare line.
162. What is the term for a chocolate-covered sheep?
A candy baa.
163. What kinds of snakes are present on automobiles?
Windshield viper?
