50+ Funny & Sweet Dog Quotes And Jokes Worthy Of Man’s Best Friend

In a well-known statement, President Harry Truman asked, “You want a friend in Washington? Obtain a cute dog. That sentiment really holds true for all dogs. Sweet Dogs are regarded as man’s best friend for a reason—they are our dependable, devoted, and affectionate friends. The relationship that exists between dogs and their humans has inspired many great writers and their creations, regardless of whether your very good doggo is a pet, therapy dog, or service animal. From Groucho Marx to George Carlin, they have served as the source of numerous memorable dog-related sayings and gags.

So whether you’re inspired by a family dog or just looking for some jokes for kids, here are our favorite dog quotes, sayings, and jokes that’ll leave you howling.

Sweet Dog Quotes

1. A book is a man’s best friend, bar none. It’s toodark to read inside a dogg. – Groucho Marx

2. “A dog will not bite you if you rescue him from starvation and bring him prosperity.” The main distinction between a dog and a man is this. – Mark Twain

3. “The dog recogenises the unique brilliance of your conversation better than anyone else.” – Christopher Morley

4. “When the dog looks at you, the dog is not thinking what kind of a person you are. The dog is not judging you.” – Eckhart Tolle

5. “The faith of a truly devoted dog is the only one that has never failed.” – Konrad Lorenz

6. “You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” – Harry S Truman

7. “Dogs lack shame but are incredibly enthusiastic. My dog ought to be my life mentor. – Moby

8. “What is the day off for dogs?” Cannot just lay around; that’s what they do. – George Carlin

9. “Get a permanent job by scratching a dog.” Per – Jones, Franklin P.

10. “Dog is the name of God reversed.” – Duane Chapman

11. “There might be something wrong with your life, but there’s not necessarily anything wrong with you if you don’t own a dog, at least one.” – Caras, Roger A.

12. “I am convinced that dogs basically think humans are nuts because I have seen a look in their eyes—a quickly disappearing look of amazed contempt.” – Author John Steinbeck

13. “The only creature on the planet that loves you more than you love yourself is a dog.” – Josh Billings

14. “A little dog is going to love you no matter how you’re feeling.” – Waka Flocka Flame

15. “He made a lifelong effort to be a decent person. Many times, however, he failed. For after all, he was only human. He wasn’t a dog.” – Charles M Schulz

16. “A boy can pick up a lot from a dog, including the value of turning around three times before lying down and obedience and loyalty.” – Benchley Robert

17. “Animals now hold a very special place in our hearts. Our culture is disjointed and disjointed. The economy is bad, politics is ugly, religion is having trouble, and technology is stressful. What is one reliable thing we can rely on in our lives? a dog or cat that is devoted to us and loves us without conditions, every day.” – Jon Katz

18. “If you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty,” goes my fashion philosophy. – Elayne Boosler

19. “The best thing about having a dog is that you can make a fool of yourself around him, & he won’t only laugh at you, but he’ll also laugh at himself.” – Butler, Samuel

20. “Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. Their love, faith, and trust are all directed towards us. They serve us in return for scraps. Without a doubt, it’s the greatest bargain that man has ever made. ” – Roger A. Caras

21. “I find that I love dogs more the better I get to know men.” – Charles de Gaulle

22. “It is incredible the amount of love and laughter they bring into our lives, and even the degree to which they help us get closer to one another.” – John Grogan

23. “There would be more happiness in the world if everyone could love with the same unconditional love as a dog.” – M.K. Clinton

24. “I want to go where the dogs went when I die, if there are no dogs in Heaven.” – Will Rogers

The Funniest Dog Jokes and Puns

25. When the ravenous Dalmation ate some kibble, what did he say? That hit the spot!

26. How did the canine respond to the sandpaper? Ruff!

27. What transpires when cats and dogs pour down? You can step in a poodle.

28. What is a dog’s favorite city? New Yorkie!

29. The poor dog, why did he chase his tail? His goal was to make end’s meet.

30. What’s the term for a dog during the winter? A chili dog!

31. What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound!

32. What did the skeleton say to the puppy? Bone Appétit!

33. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the barking lot.

34. Where should a dog never go shopping? A flea market

35. How does a dog owned by a scientist use bones? Barium.

36. Which remote button is the dog’s favourite? Paws.

37. Which types of construction work do dogs excel at? Roofin’.

38. With a dog, everything is paw-sible.

39. The dog is so well-liked that the pup-arazzi snapped a picture of it.

40. My dog never stands up for herself. She just rolls over.

41. My dog hates the rain. He is unwilling to tread on a poodle.

42. What’s your dog’s favorite Pink Floyd album? Bark Side of the Moon.

43. Don’t stop retrieving. Hold on to that feline.

44. It’s raining cats and dogs. As long as it doesn’t reindeer, that’s okay.

45. Are you aware of the recently released dog film? It’s called Jurassic Bark.

46. I’m all about the pug life.

47. Why are dogs like phones? Because they have collar IDs!

48. Why do dogs run in circles? Because it’s hard to run in squares!

49. Why did the snowman name his dog “Frost”? Because “Frost” bites!

Pawsome Dog Poems

“The Dog” by OGDEN NASH

I don’t bend or shoo the truth.

When I say the dog is very loving. I’ve also found, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.

“Bereavement” by Kevin Young

Behind his house, my father’s dogs

sleep in kennels, beautiful, he built just for them.

They do not bark.

Do they know he is dead? They wag their tails

& head. They beg

& are fed. Their grief is colossal

& forgetful.

Each day they wake seeking his voice,

their names.

By dusk they seem to un-remember everything—

to them even hunger

is a game. For that, I envy. For that, I cann’t bear to watch them

pacing their cage. I try to remember

they love best confined space to feel safe. Each day

A saint visits and feeds the couple

& I draw closer the shades.

I’ve begun to think of them

as my father’s other sons, as kin. Brothers-in-paw.

My eyes each day thaw.

One day the water cuts off. Then back on.

They are outside dogs—

which is to say, healthy & victorious, purposeful

& one giant muscle

like the heart. Dad taught them not to bark, to point

out their prey. To stay.

Were they there that day? They call me

like witnesses & will not say.

I ask for their care & their carelessness—

wish of them forgiveness.

I must give them away. I must find for them homes,

sleep restless in his.

All night I expect they pace as I do, each dog like an eye

roaming with the dead

beneath an unlocked lid.

“Epitaph To A Dog” by Lord Byron

Near this Spot

The remains of a person who embodied all the virtues of man without his vices—beauty without vanity, strength without arrogance, courage without ferociousness—are deposited here.If written over human ashes, this praise—which would be meaningless flattery—is merely a fitting remembrance of Boatswain, the dog who was born in Newfoundland in May 1803 and passed away in Newstead on November 18, 1808.

When a smug Son of Man comes back to Earth,

The sculptor’s work exhausts the pomp of woe, and storied urns record who rests below—unknown to Glory but upheld by Birth. When all is done, upon the Tomb is seen Not what he was, but what he should have been. However, the poor dog, the most steadfast friend in life, is denied the soul he held on earth in heaven. He is the one who works, fights, lives, and breathes for his master alone. His honest heart is still his master’s.

While man, vain insect! hopes to be forgiven, And claims himself a sole exclusive heaven. Oh man!Thou weak tenant of an hour, debased by servitude or tainted by authority,Whoever knows thee well ought to desertion thee.deteriorated clump of moving dust!Thy words are deceptive, thy tongue hypocritical, thy friendship dishonest, thy love is lust,Each kindred brute might make you blush with shame because they are by nature vile and elevated only by name.Yes! who behold perchance this simple urn, Pass on, it honours none you wish to mourn. I never knew but one, and he lies here, to mark the remains of a friend.

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